What happens when you use Jargon and 3 ways to fix it
- Vivien
- Mar 13
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 2
A recent client asked me what was wrong with using jargon since most industry leaders had it on their website and content.
You know the type
"Unlock Your All-in-One Management Platform" 🤮
"Streamlining real-time data tools"
"Optimize personnel performances"
"Elevate your marketing"
"Unleash your full Potential"
It's not easy telling a $3B company to change the way they write when they've been doing it for the past 75 years.
If you've been watching Season 2 of Severance, there's a scene that may hit home harder than most. (Spoiler Alert)
Severance is a TV series on Apple about a group of office workers whose consciousnesses have been split into their “innie” work selves and their “outie” nonwork selves.
Mr Milchick is in charge of the Severed Floor and loves nothing more than to use corporate jargon and long, convoluted sentences to assert his authority.
In episode 5 (S2) Milchick is having his performance review where he is told he uses “too many big words,” and recommended he simplifies his language.
Addressing the complaint, Milchick takes a phrase he previously said to his assistant, Miss Huang, and begins to cut it.
- “eradicate from yourself childish folly,”
- “you must abandon childish things,”
- “you must grow up,”
- “grow up,”
- finishing with “grow.”
It may sound harsh, chopping up our content, but jargon can seriously damage your corporate reputation and exclude your customers.
Jargon also damages our brand perception.
A survey by communications company Enreach found that 90 percent of people believe business jargon and obscure wording is used by people who want to “cover up the fact that they have NO IDEA what they’re doing.”
Jargon creates a communication barrier.
Your goal as a writer is to make it effortless for your reader/buyer to understand what you're trying to say, but as writer we often fail to realize that terms we may know well can be unfamiliar to our audience, and excludes them because they feel like they're not smart enough, or part of the buzzword circle.
What exactly is Jargon?
For me, "Jargon is unnecessarily complicated, often vague, and abstract words, used to impress, rather than to inform, your audience." and can be divided into 3 offenders:
Words that are unclear, vague, and abstract remind me of the placeholder text Lorem ipsum
It looks like a real language
It even sounds like Latin
But in reality, it's "dummy text" - a nonsensical string of words that has no actual meaning.
It fills space without saying much.
These words drift in and out of fashion. Someone says a "catchy" word, and the next minute, everyone's using it, and when everyone uses it - it devalues the word, and everyone blends together.
Most tech companies are innovative, most service providers have excellent customer service.
Words that are commonly used in your industry don't translate well in the outside market. Companies that fail to realise not everyone in their buyer committee will be aware of every acronym or phrase end up excluding their audience.
If you find yourself using jargon, here are my 3 easy fixes:
1. Learn to Remove it when it doesn't add to the sentence
Define your key points
As with any piece of writing, the first thing you should do is identify your key points.
What is your core message?
What are you trying to say to the reader?
What is the ultimate goal of this piece?
Using these to guide you will help prevent excess ‘fluff’ from muddying your writing.
Answer any unanswered questions
If you come across any abstract words in your copy, ask yourself: What does this really mean?
For example, if you promise “high-quality results,” does your customer know what it means, or does it leave them with more questions?
You can quantify your promises to avoid any ambiguity.
"Our clients have achieved a 45% increase in website traffic."
"95% of our clients reported saving over 20 hours a week...."
"We helped X save $65,000."
2. Swap it for a simpler, more human way to say what you want to say
Translation Not Explanation
Using jargon is usually a sign that you need to understand the language your customer uses, so it will resonate with them.
Read your words out loud - even better, ask someone else to read it and then explain it back to you.
If your reader is technical and you have no other way to express an idea except to use technical language, then make sure you define the words for readers who may not understand them.
Write to communicate, not to impress. How do your words make your reader feel?
Warren Buffett, CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, once explained how he composes his annual shareholder report as if he’s writing to his two sisters, who aren’t active in business. He even starts writing the letter with “Dear Doris and Bertie” then removing the salutation when he’s finished.
Writing to a person who isn't inside your daily business circle forces you to simplify your words. Rather than trying to show off our vast knowledge, write to make your words informative and accessible.
Plant a Mental Image:
There's a strange new trend occurring with writers who think they are writing visually with phrases like:
"Out of the box strategies"
"Giving 110%"
"Low-hanging fruit"
"White-gloved service"
"Rock star marketing"
This type of phrasing may conjure up a picture but is still considered weak because they are open to interpretation.
Use Concrete words that are easy for your reader to visualise and experience to make them memorable
Abstract language involves intangible concepts that are often vague and hard to visualize.
Concrete language, on the other hand, is very clear and specific. It gets right to the point and provides important details.
Ian Begg, from the University of Western Ontario, was the first psychologist to study the impact of using concrete language.
In 1972, he created an experiment to test the recall of certain words.
He read out 20 two-word phrases to listeners.
Some phrases were concrete, ie, ‘white horse’ or ‘square door’, while others were abstract - ‘basic theory’ or ‘rational method’.
When asked what words they remembered, only 9% could remember the abstract words, with 36% recalling the concrete words.
A good way to make your vague words concrete is to ask yourself: Can my audience picture the contents of this message in their daily lives?
If not, figure out how to describe the content of your message more specifically.
For example, instead of writing "All-in-One Management Solutions"
Try: "Get Your Team Ready for Friday on Monday."
"Stop taking screenshots and close those tabs - the only platform you ever need to organise your work."
Clarity - Be Specific
Clarity doesn't always mean using less words - sometimes you have to use more to make your message clear.
Instead of " Elevate your team decision making"
Try: "Make decisions quicker so you never miss another deadline."
To wrap up - Jargon can easily sneak into our corporate communication. It excludes our readers and damages our brand.
Being aware of it and the solutions to remove, swap, and plant a mental picture makes our communication clear and memorable and shows the value of your solution.
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